Powder Monkey

This was a favorite spot for the vultures, I mean spectators. Bottom of the expert course, sick rock garden at the bottom of a pretty nasty drop. I survived it twice, and from the look on my face thoroughly enjoyed it. Dana's photos continue to kick ass.

Bike Survey

Questions sent to me by Janet. Here goes...

If you could have any one — and only one — bike in the world, what would it be?
Easy, a cyclocross rig. Road, dirt, mud, snow. Bring it on.

Do you already have that coveted dream bike? If so, is it everything you hoped it would be? If not, are you working toward getting it? If you’re not working toward getting it, why not?
You never have the dream bike because once you do you want the next one. That being said, my KHS Team XC is pretty fly. And the ladies love my 1972 Schwinn Stingray.

If you had to choose one — and only one — bike route to do every day for the rest of your life, what would it be, and why?
I'd start at the Slickrock Cafe after breakfast (Hungry Biker + lots of coffee), head down Main St and up towards Slickrock to Porcupine Rim. Rock the PR all the way down to the highway and follow the river back to Moab. Lather, Rinse, Repeat.

What kind of sick person would force another person to ride one and only one bike ride to to do for the rest of her / his life?
I'll have to say, Yo Momma.

Do you ride both road and mountain bikes? If both, which do you prefer and why? If only one or the other, why are you so narrowminded.
Both. I prefer road bikes on the road and mountain bikes off road. I'm funny like that. Both have their own unique vibe, and doing both makes you appreciate the other even more. Either way, you're not on the couch or in a car, so it's all good.

Have you ever ridden a recumbent? If so, why? If not, describe the circumstances under which you would ride a recumbent?
No, no, and Hell No. I also do not make eye contact with or acknowledge the existence of anyone riding a R-Word.

Have you ever raced a triathlon? If so, have you also ever tried strangling yourself with dental floss?
I only run when being chased by someone trying to take my lunch money. Although I do look good in my Fishnet Speedo Junior...

Suppose you were forced to either give up ice cream or bicycles for the rest of your life. Which would you give up, and why.
Ice cream, because bikes don't give me brain freeze.

What is a question you think this questionnaire should have asked, but has not? Also, answer it.
If a train leaves Chicago at 9:30am traveling west at 60 mph and another train leaves Seattle at 10:30am traveling east at 50 mph, what is the name of the passenger sitting in the 3rd seat of the dining car on the eastbound train? Answer: Yo Momma.

What do you drink during the post-ride social? Beer or wine?
Water. Endurox R4. Heineken or Fat Tire Pale. Not necessarily in that order.

You’re riding your bike in the wilderness (if you’re a roadie, you’re on a road, but otherwise the surroundings are quite wilderness-like) and you see a bear. The bear sees you. What do you do?
If I'm on the road, I sit in and draft off the bear. If I'm on the mtb I slow down to see if he really does shit in the woods.

Powder Monkey

This race has destroyed my bike the last two years in a row: wheel in 2006, and a snapped rear derailleur last year. So, goal number one was to finish. This course was a beast in the Sport class, and the upgrade to Comp/Expert makes it epic. I can't think of a harder, more technical trail in Minnesota. Rocks everywhere, from babyheads to bus-sized boulders. Tight, twisty, tree-lined singletrack with lots of punchy, technical climbs. Climbs, climbing and more climbing, broken up by more climbing sections. Brutal (but in a good way).

Comp did one full expert lap, plus a half-lap. We started just up from the chalet, climbed to the top and made our way towards the bottom of Spirit Mountain (somehow climbing during the entire descent). Rode everything pretty well considering the expert sections were all new to me. I made the sketchy rock garden downhill at the bottom both laps, disappointing the spectators who were lined up waiting for carnage. Then we climbed back up to the top for what seemed like an hour. Wicked, technical uphill insanity. I made it through all but one section where the rise was so steep I didn't see anyone even attempt to ride it (walking it was a challenge). Just when I could hear traffic and see cars and thought we were at the parking lot we plunged down for more singletrack and more climbing. I was suffering like a dog, but could see some of the group leaders around me, so I figured either they were hurting just as much or I was doing okay.

Made it back to the start/finish for the final half-lap. Was doing fine until I clipped a tree with my handlebar and got launched over the bars and about 10 feet down the side of the hill. Smacked my calf and thigh on the frame, lost about 2 minutes in the process of climbing back up to the trail and got passed for 2 places. Rode with Kevin until the fireroad and then he lost me. Nice recovery, Kevin! I felt good enough to floor it near the parking lot climb but had major chainsuck which took a bit of time to fix. Got it rolling and hit the line for 5th in my group. The crash probably cost me a podium spot (missed 3rd by about 45 seconds), but considering I had to DNF the last two years, I'll take it.

Red Wing

The bottom of the Quarry at Red Wing. You careen down the bluff in a narrow ravine, around and over rocks, between trees, lots of tight turns. At the bottom there's a sharp right turn with rocks to negotiate before a drop (you can get a sense of the steepness and direction change by looking at the two guys standing in the top of the photo. The trail goes right through there, then switches back where I'm riding). Big rocks cushion your fall if you miss the turn (see Dana's photos for some nasty crashes). The full-suspension has saved my bacon on more than one occasion. This is a prime example. On the hardtail, I'd have to find a line around the rocks or risk getting bounced off my line. On the KHS, I can plow right over. Thank you, technology. Thanks to Gus and Company for making this one of the best trails anywhere.

Red Wing haiku

Hot humid pukey
Stupid rock must go to hell
Threw up in my mouth

Where am I ??

Not too hard to guess, but do you know where I was today?
BTW, totally did not expect to find a fixie from the 1800's with wooden wheels and tubulars here. I only wish I had a camera other than the one in my phone for this bad boy. Now THAT'S retro!

Ricco not so sauve

I always thought he was an arrogant jerk, and now we have confirmation. It takes a real special kind of d-bag to talk that much trash while cheating the entire time.

Red Wing

Hit Memorial Bluff yesterday for a good 2 hour ride. Trails were in great shape, as usual. A few downed trees from Friday's storm, but I'm guessing those will be taken care of by race day. I've ridden here so many times I didn't really need the preride, but it's such a fun trail that it's worth the drive. I mainly worked on the Stairway to Heaven climb and the climb out of the Quarry. Got Stairway dialed, had one crap ride out of the Quarry but got it dialed so that I cleaned it 3 out of 4 times. The trick will be not getting stuck behind someone who can't ride either one during the race. That, and getting into the singletrack ahead of the traffic jam at the start. I'll be following Clayton "Holeshot" McLagan for the lead out.

Tour de France thoughts

I could really care less about this year's Tour. The doping scandals were bad enough, but when you exclude the best riders and arguably the strongest team (Astana), what are we left to watch? The French haven't had a winner since Hinault and the Tour organizers have gone out of their way the past few years to stack the deck in hopes of dumbing down the race enough to give themselves a chance. They've eliminated the Team Time Trial (arguably one of the most entertaining and exciting days of the Tour) because they've had their asses handed to them. When Lance and the Disco squad dominated the mountains, they changed the route year after year to try to take away the advantage. Cancellara grabbed the Maillot Jaune in the Prologue last year and held it for far too long for French liking, so this year, no Prologue for the first time in decades. Oh yeah, no time bonuses this year either. They should rename this the Tour de Lowest Hanging Fruit.

Adding to the lack of quality on the road is the further decline of broadcasting standards by Versus. Al Troutwig used to annoy the bejeezus out of me because he clearly knew nothing about cycling but had the American sportscaster vibe, so they brought him in, presumably to appeal to Joe Sixpack sports guy. Craig Hummer is so terrible that I've become president of the Al Troutwig fan club. At least Troutwig was a broadcasting professional who knew how to speak in something other than a whiny, droning monotone for 3 hours. Hummer was barely tolerable when he was doing 3-minute interviews, how the hell did he get this gig? Next year will it be Frankie Andreu and Craig Hummer? That would be a freaking Dream Team. Secondly, I'm all for the American teams and riders, but I don't need to see the same pieces on Garmin-Chipotle and Columbia everyday. Considering there are only 4 American riders in the tour, that is a very disproportionate amount of coverage for a European event. Is there nothing interesting going on with any of the other teams? Apparently not. The most exciting thing so far in this year's Tour was Jonathan Vaughters dropping an F-Bomb on live TV while driving the team car in the TT. Finally, the media buyer at Versus must have the greatest job on the planet. All you need to do is buy one ad for Bacardi, another for Saab, slap together a Tour promo spot and your work is done for the year. It makes me want to "do the Mojito" in a Saab "that recycles exhaust into energy" right over the edge of L'Alpe d'Huez, while singing, "I'm gonna get my head straight".

I think I just took the Black Jersey for points leader in ranting.

Afton Gravelfest

route map here

Had a flat before I even started riding. Hole in the tire had to be booted, first tube didn't hold air. Frantic search for another tube. Fast group leaves while I'm fixing tire. Roll out with the second group. I'm on the front pretty much the entire way down Lake Elmo, feeling ok. We roll towards Afton and the Afton Hills climb. I stand at the base of the climb to drop the hammer only to discover they have just tarred and graveled the road, and my bike slides out from under me. Luckily I didn't hit the deck, but it kind of put a damper on the climb. (Note to Afton lovers: gravel EVERYWHERE) Halfway up the fast group is on their way down, so I pull a 180 and latch on. We roll through Afton and hit the Coulee. I sit about 5th wheel, and for once I fight the urge to attack from the very start of the climb. It stays together until the first false flat, then someone attacks. I see John T move to attack him and I react. I follow John and we crush it the rest of the way up, attacking and counterattacking until we reach 50th street. First test of the day, and I got an A- (would've been A+ but John rolled by me at the very end).

Up 50th to Trading Post and more gravel. Detour out to Neal with craters and pavement the consistency of a cheese grater. Luckily, we're all experienced riders and no one makes any foolish moves. 20mph tailwind down Valley Creek to Stagecoach and I'm spinning out in my biggest gear. Super strong head/crosswind the rest of the way back, but we've got a very organized paceline of about 7-8 guys, and it's smoother than Billy Dee Williams. 350-450 watt turns on the front the rest of the way home with a few attacks at the end. Brian and I led the charge for the last few miles, trading pulls back to the parking lot. Rolled in just behind Brian for the "finish". Second and most important test of the day, not getting dropped, and I boost my GPA with another A, with extra credit for a strong finish. (It would have been great to be able to grade myself like this when I was in school.)

GREAT ride. I was hanging on for dear life after the Coulee, but recovered and found enough power to keep everyone honest. I need to find a way to translate this to mountain biking. On a road bike I can "reach deep into my suitcase of pain" as Paul Sherwin would say, but haven't been able to do the same thing on the mtb consistently. Some day...

Training

Had 4 days off the bike last week. Went for a spin Thursday, felt okay. A couple of laps at Hillside on Saturday in the hot, hot heat, felt pretty good. 2 hours on the road bike yesterday in the even hotter, hot heat, not so good. I'm sure the Fat Tire Ale from Saturday night didn't help the hydration in the 90 degree heat. Just didn't have much power in the legs, especially into the wind coming home. Flatted and cooked in the sun changing the tube. 50 mile hilly hammerfest to Afton on Tuesday. Hopefully the legs make a comeback.