Why you should brew your coffee at home.

I waited for you to park your car (3 attempts). I waited for you to order, after you asked about EVERY drink on the menu. I waited for you as you ordered, changed your order, then changed it again. I waited as the 8 cars in the drive-thru that prompted me to go inside to place my order in the first place all got served. Then you just had to go and do it, didn't you? You said, "I'll have an expresso". It's called espresso. The key to getting it right is to look at the letter s that's right there between the e and the p. I know it's difficult — just like parking, apparently. If you're going to make me use a year's worth of patience all at once, don't top it off by going nuclear stupid on me. Sorry, nuke-u-ler. You took so long to order that representatives from Fox approached you with an offer to do a spin-off of "24", where viewers can tune in for 24 episodes and watch you make up your mind in real-time.

All this time gave me a chance to answer the trivia question. Upon giving my answer, you tried arguing with me, telling me I was wrong. Question: "Outside of Alaska, what is the northernmost state in the US?" Easy. "The answer", I said, [SPOILER ALERT] "is Minnesota". You were all, "No, it's Maine". At first I was impressed that you knew that Maine was a state and that it might be a northern state at that. Then, I went all Nat Geo on your ass and said, "Northwest Angle". To which you of course said, "What?". I wanted to say, "Oh sorry, you probably pronounce it, Northwext Angle", but it would have been wasted on you. Anyway, I proceeded to explain how Maine is below the 49th parallel, while the Northwest Angle of Minnesota sits above it. "What?", you said again. "Look it up", I said.

You can Google it. I'm guessing you're still in line, and they've got free wi-fi.